Resolving Not to Resolve

I was reading about making New Year’s resolutions and how they came about, and turns out no one really knows for sure.  New Year’s resolutions were known to have been made as much as 4000 years ago by the Babylonians, and according to my unsubstantiated research, the town folks’ number one resolution was to return borrowed farm equipment.   Of course, that tapped into my rather twisted imagination, and I was for a moment, transformed back into time.  Shall we take the journey together?

Circa 4000 years ago. Or so.

“Oh ye Sire Smithy! Hath ye seen my new plow?  Didn’t thee borroweth it a fortnight ago. Or so?”

“No brother, no, it was not me who borrowed your new Acme sleek two-tone, double-sided, cruise-controlled, silver-plated, special edition, bright red Plow, kind sir.  I would surely returneth it if I had.  That is a mighty fine plow, howevereth, my friend.  My New Year’s resolution will be to have one of those fine plows parked in my barn come planting season.  Yessiree!   But no, I haven’t seeneth your plow sir.   Have you checked the good neighbor Brutus’ barn?   He tends to borroweth without permission.  Or so I’ve heardeth, kind sir.”

“Aye, I’ll be paying a respectful visit to the good Brutus come first light.  That scoundrel had better not have my fucking plow or my New Year’s resolution will be to maketh him my bitch!  Good day, sire.  Don’t be a stranger.  Bring the Misses and come by soon for some kibble and Babylonian bits.   We’ll have a fine time, spitting and watching the lady folk gossip.”

“Ye that I will, sir.  That I will. Have ye a nice day!

Most of my resolutions in the past have been pretty selfish and I’ve failed to keep the vast majority.   Every year I list the same yawn things:   Lose weight, exercise, make more money, be kinder and have more sex.   Every year I totally rock the ‘be kinder’ one, but the rest of the resolutions barely manage a nod.    This year I have resolved not to make a resolution.  Why?  Because I’m sick and tired of being kind.

Not really.   Kind is ok.  A bit overrated, but I’m good at it, so may as well stay the course.   However, it no longer requires a resolution.   So I’m resolving not to resolve.  Anything.  I’m going for the big surprise.  Let fate and karma be my guides.  Que Sera, Sera and all that bullshit. 

Big things are gonna happen in 2012.   IF I were going to make a resolution or two…and I’m NOT….but IF I were, it would be to excel in my new job, sell my novel, pay it forward often….yea, and lose weight, exercise, make more money, be kinder and have more sex. 

But I’m not making resolutions this year.  

I do enjoy participating though.  I’m going to feel really left out if I don’t make a resolution.  I’m already feeling sad.  This is not good.   So maybe one little bitty teensy weensy resolution.    Just for Auld Lang Syne,  you understand.

My resolution is to Continue.  That’s it, just to Continue.   That one will be hard to break, unless I croak, and then it won’t matter.  So it’s a Win Win. 

And my advice to all of you?   Borrowing the words of one of my favorite bloggers, go on out there and….

Make 2012 Your Bitch.