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Entries in love (11)


Oh no you didn’t just give me that for Valentine’s Day!


Hello Monday people! I'm linking up with the lovely Stasha over at The Good Life for Monday Listicles.

Valentine’s Day brings visions of cherubs flying around, the piercing of hearts with those little love arrows, and chocolate induced comas. For those involved in a fresh new love, Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to reinforce those oral commitments by spending economy-changing amounts of currency on splendid offerings such as blingy baubles and decadent doo-hickeys.  

On the other end of the burning-hot-heart-holiday spectrum are those poor souls with no sweetheart for which to present Valentine cards with pledges of their devotion. However, don’t feel sorry for them as they are the lucky ones, with their emotions and their wallets still intact. They also escape the pressure of wearing such gifts as underwear plastered with big red hearts that itch and ride up farther into one’s butt-crackus than should be legally allowed. 

Most of us, however, are stuck smack-dab in the middle of that lovey-dovey Valentine’s craziness.  We are the demographic of long-term-relationshippers.  We are not as romantic as we used to be with our intended/betrothed/wife/husband/sweetheart.  Let’s face it people. We buy Valentine’s crap because we have to.  And we’d better receive Valentine’s crap, too, or there will be hell to pay. 

This brings us to the all-important shopping for our Valentine. Not an easy task. For example, I know exactly the kind of candy my beloved likes, but I still manage to make the whole experience one of stress, sweat, and possible cranial swelling.  I also use it as an excuse to overeat.  One cannot expect to choose the perfect honey-I-love-you-please-just-take-the-gift-and-shut-up-about-it Valentine’s gift on an empty stomach. I usually make a quick drive through In-N-Out Burger and wolf down a soothing Double Double before venturing down the scary Valentine’s card aisle at the Hallmark store.

Frankly, that place scares the shit out of me. I’ve never seen so many reasons to give a card under one roof in my life.  I equate every single reason with some degree of guilt and some past painful experience in my life.   I forget birthdays. I can’t remember which of my partner’s relatives had a baby when.  They are good Catholic people and they have lots and lots of babies.  I can’t keep up with all that. But apparently Hallmark can.  It’s quite disturbing really.  Look around next time you’re in there.  You’ll see what I’m talking about.  Love, my ass!  It’s all about the guilt.

Which brings me to my brief list for today’s Monday Listicles.  A list of gifts you don’t want to even try and give your sweet-thang/hunnybuns/babycakes/main-squeeze/loverlips/pumpkin-puss, etc.  This list includes ‘you really shouldn’t’ gifting for both sexes.  Use whatever is appropriate.  Since I’ve been on both sides of the fence, I feel I am completely qualified to shove this advice your way.  You’re welcome!

Don’t even think about giving HER:

  • Small appliances.
  • Hair coloring kit.
  • Hair removal paraphernalia of any kind.  And stop staring at her chin hairs, at least on Valentine’s Day!
  • Cheap underwear. Women know these things. Trust me.
  • Self-help books.

Side Bar:  If she’s a lesbian, an exception can be made here.  Carpentry and car-repair manuals may be adequate depending on the butch level of said mate.


Don’t even think about giving HIM:

  • Opera theatre tickets.
  • Cologne.  Seriously, they don’t want this. They like fart smells.
  • Books made of paper.  If it doesn’t fit on something electronic, move to other choices.
  • Scented candles.  Again, the smell.  Just not on their radar.
  • Pink underwear.  Don’t ask me why I know this. I just do.

Sidebar:  If he’s gay, anything above will do quite nicely, except the books made of paper. Again, the electronic thing.  After all, he is still of the male persuasion.



On being who I am

I don’t discuss gay and lesbian issues often on my blog. It is not because I am shy, as I’m sure you’ve all figured out, but rather because the main theme of my blog is humor.  You may often see me refer to my lifestyle in some tongue-in-cheek humorous way.  I fondly write of my infatuation with Jennifer Lopez, and for that, I offer no apologies. Ahem.

All that being said, I am who I am.  And proud, as I should be. Still, I am not a card-carrying, politically centered, save the world with a lesbian sitting like a cherry on top (absolutely no pun intended here…I do confess to a giggle when I thought about it, though) kinda girl. My partner and I have been together sixteen years and married for fifteen.  No, we are not legally married, but ours is just like any other long-term marriage, full of memories, strife, joy and tears. 

I think the reason I wanted to write about being who I am is the fact that I can. No one will shoot me, fire me, or treat me with disrespect.  Oh, some may hate me because of who I am, but I choose to disregard the existence of said hatred and bigotry.  Life is too short to walk around with your head hung and your eyes to the ground.  My enemy is not my haters, but rather my lack of resistance to negativity.  I am getting stronger every day, though, and that enemy gets a little smaller every time I let go of the pain, fear and frustration that comes from my being judged as anything less than equal.

Today the times, they are a changin’!  And thank God for that. Gay people can legally marry in several states and whether you like it or not, we are here to stay.  We’ve always been here, but now we don’t have to live in the shadow of society’s description of normal. 

No, it’s not perfect yet, probably never will be, but the same can be said for equal rights for any minority. It will be a continuous struggle to maintain what we’ve accomplished so far, and make progress for generations to come. 

So when I say I’m proud to be who I am, I say that with a reverent and somber voice, but also a gleeful exuberance filled with hope.  I am also proud to say that my family and my friends share in this hope and open their hearts and minds to those of us who may be just a little different than them.  They step aside their differing political beliefs because they love me for exactly who I am.  Congress could learn a lesson from my dear friends and relatives, indeed!

Life is one big wonderful rollercoaster ride.  I choose to ride hard. I choose to ride without guilt, prejudice, judgment and hatred.  I choose to be true to myself.  Only then can I be of any use to others. 

In concluding, I would like to sing the praises of several blogs I support and enjoy. Please visit them when you have some time.  I know you will want to return again and again:

Erin L. Margolin, The Road to my Writer Roots 

The Gay Dad Project

Lesbian Family

Up Popped a Fox 

Lesbian Dad  



Monday Listicles - Crushed


Hello Monday people! I'm linking up with the lovely Stasha over at The Good Life for Monday Listicles. 

When I saw the choices for Listicles this week, I honed right in on doing a list of crushes. My life has evolved around crushes. It’s sad, really. I’ve crushed on movie and TV stars, rock stars, and the boy next door.  I’ve crushed on football players, English professors, doctors, and the girl next door. I even had a pretty serious crush on the Double Double Cheeseburger from In-N-Out Burger.  I’m serious. We met briefly. I smelled her hypnotic aroma and the rest is history.

Having a crush is much like love.  The heart wants, and therefore crushes on, what it wants.  It’s bigger than all of us, so if we’re smart, we just relax and enjoy the fantasies.  Nothing wrong with that, right?

Crushes in my childhood days consisted mostly of teeny-bopper stars found on TV or in Tiger Beat Magazine.  Anyone remember Tiger Beat?  Or am I the only one approaching fossil status?

When I was twelve years old, I had a crush on Davy Jones of the Monkees (on the left).  He was short and British and cute as a button.  As he grew older, he still looked the same...never aged much. Must have been something in those tea and crumpets!


My heart also thumped loudly back in the late 60s for a very handsome Indian boy on an adventure TV show called Maya.  Sajid Khan got me all kinds of wiggly and excited.There were no boys in my neighborhood that pretty.  Not even close.  My diary was full of details as to how I planned on running away to India to be with this boy.  

In high school, I had my first “academia” crush.  It was for my English teacher, Miss Dennis. She was in her early twenties and gorgeous. She wore mini-skirts and knee-high boots in high fashion.  She looked the way I wanted to look.  But most of all, she was kind to me. And I was teenage smitten.  Sorry, no picture. Trust me, though. She was a babe.

Fast-forward a few years and my crush landed on everyone else’s crush at the time…Farrah Fawcett.  I even had a poster in my office.  She had great hair.  She even had her own shampoo and conditioner line, and I bought it religiously.  I never did master that flip style though.  Hair envy or crush?  You decide.

I also crushed on Tom Selleck when he starred in Magnum P.I.  He was handsome back then!  We lived in Hawaii during that time and used to drive to the airport just to see if we could spot his helicopter.  I may or may not have screamed my undying love from the fence.  And my husband may or may not have begged me to get back in the damned car or he was going to leave without me.

I’m grouping my sexual fantasy crushes altogether.  Mainly because they all look so good together. Don’t you agree?  It just makes me smile. There’s Jennifer Lopez. But you already knew about her. There’s George Clooney.  But you already knew about him. There’s Queen Latifah.  Yes.  She does it for me.  Don’t judge. I like her smile and her size. An abundance of both.  And finally, there’s Josh Holloway.  Remember him from Lost?  He is from Georgia. I am from Georgia.  Boys DID NOT look like Josh when I was growing up in Georgia.  And once I was grown, men didn’t look like that either. Josh is a freak. A gorgeous Georgia freak of nature.  Ok I’ll shut up now.




Is it getting hot in here?

My last crush is twofold. The past.  And the hopeful future. 

Let me explain.

John Elway.  I crushed on him throughout his career as a Denver Bronco, and mourned when he retired.  Since then, I have suffered through some pretty SUCKY quarterbacks Tim Tebow, and I have wished John was back, saving the day. 


Ah, but it was not to be.




Finally, though, the skies opened up and the waters parted, and the Broncos nation received Peyton Manning.  Quarterback. Extraordinaire. Handsome. Capable. Our saving grace. Our new hero.

All. Hail. Peyton Manning!

Play your cards…er, I mean your football right, Mr. Manning, and you might just be my

Next Big Crush!




*Images from Google Images






The day after tomorrow will be my 59th Christmas. I can hardly believe it. Seems like just yesterday, I was sneaking into my parents’ closet, trying to find Santa’s stash. My little sister, hot on my heels, still believed in Santa, so I had to make up a lot of excuses why there were toys in that closet. Back then, she followed me everywhere. She was the cutest little thing. Everyone loved her, as they do now.  She’s still the cutest little thing, topping off at a sassy 4 feet 11 inches tall…and gorgeous.  Only now she’s not my little shadow.  I miss her so very much! She and I had a lot of Best Christmases Ever together.

Trying to think back and name the Best Christmas Ever was a huge challenge because I have had many that could easily rank in that category. I have been so blessed in this life of mine.

This year, for example, would have to be among those ‘best’ Christmases.  And why, you ask, especially since Christmas hasn’t happened yet?  Well, a few weeks ago, I proclaimed to the world that the only thing I really wanted for Christmas was for my best friend Mary to make it through her multiple heart bypass operation and get well.  And she, indeed, did make it through, thank God…and is on that all-important road to recovery.  No matter what else I get, my Christmas is complete.  Absolutely a Best Christmas Ever!

Thinking back to my childhood once again, our Christmases were full of family and food.  Another cherished memory was our stockings.  My sister and I hung knee socks up for Santa to fill.  We didn’t have the fancy red stockings with our names on them.  Santa filled our stockings with nuts, candy, oranges and apples, and we loved every bite.  We didn’t expect some expensive presents in our stockings. We only knew that our stockings were full and Santa had not forgotten to come to our house.  I get a bit misty eyed when I think of those days.  Makes me want to hug my Dad.  So even though I can’t name any single Christmas of my childhood, I can name our ‘knee socks’ stockings as a major factor of many Best Christmases Ever.

Another Best Christmas Ever was when my oldest son was just a toddler. We were in the Air Force and stationed in North Carolina. My Dad and Mom made the trip from Atlanta to spend Christmas with us. It was one of the last times my Mom really spent any time with my son, before alcoholism and then dementia stole her away from us.  She wasn’t fully sober during that time, either, but at least she had her good days.  That Christmas, she had several good days, and we had a beautiful holiday together, watching Abe tear through the many wonderful toys brought from Santa, Grandpa and Grandma.  I cry now but I wouldn’t take anything for those memories.

My next memory was actually a Christmas Eve when my youngest son, Glenn was three years old. He wanted a play kitchen for Christmas.  (Little did I know he’d grow up to be such a good Vegan cook!).  My husband had a bad case of the flu and could not get out of bed.  Christmas Eve arrived and I put Glenn to bed, and then tried to tackle a big box full of boards and pieces and parts that needed to transform into a little kitchenette. I was not in my comfort zone, to put it mildly.  So, I called up my best friend Mary and told her I didn’t know what I was going to do.  I was, and always have been, carpentry challenged, and everyone knew this.  Mary saved the day, however, by coming over and helping me put that kitchenette together.  I opened some wine, we gathered tools from the garage, and after a lot of drinking, laughing, and smashed fingers, we did it.  Then we placed the kitchenette at the bottom of the stairs so it would be the first thing Glenn would see when he woke up.  The next morning, he literally sat down and slid down the stairs with glee.  It was one of the Best Christmases Ever!

As I’ve grown older and the kids have grown up, Christmases are quieter and sometimes lonely.  I try to stave off feeling sorry for myself, however, because I have healthy, happy kids and grandkids, a job, a partner, a nice place to live, and people who love me. That’s what matters. I count those blessings every day, not just Christmas.  So as my 59th Christmas is upon me, I know that I will enjoy some good wine and some even better memories of all the Best Christmases Ever.  

I wish each and every one of you a BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!  Please feel free to share a Best Christmas Ever moment with us!








Can't stop the feelings

The following post should probably be presented (in person) to a licensed psychiatrist or therapist, but I don’t have the money.  So you all get to be my shrinks.  No worries.  You don’t have to do anything.  Just read.  I just need to get some things out of my head before it explodes.  My apologies in advance.  There’s an open bar if you can find the cocktail waitress.


It is 2:20 pm and I’ve been sitting in the living room most of the day.  In fact, I just woke up from a forty-winker that was spent sitting straight up in my lounge chair.  I must possess some special talent to be able to get my Z’s in a fully upright position.  It couldn’t possibly be my getting old(er). Yea, it’s got to be talent.  We’ll go with that.

But let’s get back to the reason for this post.

Sitting in the living room all day without doing anything is not normal.  Not my normal anyway. I got up this morning with more back pain than usual, after having a restless night. I didn’t start the day out right.  I tried writing a witty blog after breakfast, and ended up moving it right over to the Recycle Bin, in a huff.  Because. It. Was. Not. Funny. At. All.

At 9 am my time, I listened to a radio show that was streamed live on the internet from Kansas City.  That was one of the only worthwhile parts of my day so far.  My friend Erin Margolin and her Dad were guests on a local Kansas City radio station, talking about The Gay Dad Project.  It was a well-spent hour.  If you’d like to know more about it, please visit their website at  Listening to Erin’s heartfelt words to her Dad about his coming out when she was 15 brought me back to 24 years ago, when I came out to my son, and then left my husband.  My other son was too young to understand at the time.  I wonder just how much I hurt them by coming out.  I know it was something I had to do, but what a price to pay for freedom! 

So that’s on my mind.

After awhile, I stared at the TV while a deluge of dark and/or weird thoughts flooded my brain.  Questions about my life….all unanswered or with unacceptable answers.

  • What will I do now that I’m finished with school?
  • When is the second Hunger Games movie coming out?
  • Will I actually ever publish my second book? 
  • Are the kids doing okay?  I mean really okay?
  • How am I going to get through Christmas?  
  • Why can’t I make a decent pot of chicken ‘n dumplings? 
  • Am I depressed or just hyped up on sugar again?

I sat there and thought about things.  Like a zombie. Only zombies don’t think, do they?

You see what I mean?  Useless. Pity Party Central. All Aboard!

My best friend undergoes an open-heart, multi-bypass operation tomorrow, and my mind keeps going back to her every few minutes. I just want it to all turn out okay.  My head hurts, my heart is breaking, and my stomach is in knots.  I wish I could be there with her.  Thank God her family is all around her, though.  She’s very, very loved.  She’s that kind of person. 

But that’s not all that has me feeling today.  I wish I could just turn my feelings off.  It seems, when I let myself slow down long enough to feel, all the feelings of every kind, even remotely associated with my life…rush in.  All at once.

So I don’t know how I’m feeling.  I just am.    



Thinking Thursday

I’m always about the new. The change. The adventure. I want to see, hear, feel, taste, and experience life. Not just today but every day.

Yes, I can be profound when I apply myself.

However, not today.  You won’t find deep, intellectual thoughts lurking here today. But if you dig deep, you might just find a chuckle or two. My gift to you.  With love and kisses. 

Don’t be frightened. Unlike a writer in a stream of consciousness, I may or may not filter out any impure, mundane, or otherwise non-pertinent thoughts.  I may include a couple truths, though. It’s how I roll.

But don’t let that stop you from reading.  If you came here to be entertained, I am thoroughly convinced you are in the right place.

My first thought is a collage of “That’s just not fair!” thoughts and images in my mind.  

  • Shawn and Derek should have won Dancing with the Stars.
  • Someone I know should have won Powerball
  • Chocolate covered cherries should have a lot less calories. 

Just sayin…As I wipe chocolate off the corner of my big mouth, sporting a Cheshire cat grin and a cheap chocolate high.  I’m good.  Oh yes.

In the category of “Should never have happened. Ever. Never ever.”  I offer up this video found on YouTube featuring redneck Gangnam style (dancing?).  I have no words for this .  Just turn up your sound and try not to turn away from the screen in horror. 



The next category in my Thursday thinking extravaganza is “How freaking amazing is that?”    First of all, my son Glenn reached a 100 pound weight loss today.  He texted me with a picture of the scale.  He is a rock star, I tell ya.  And one handsome dude, if I do say so myself.  Congratulations son!  No jokes here. Not even about eating all that lettuce.  Just giving out respect.  Wow. (I would post a picture but he says he’s not ready to go public yet.)

Another category in my thoughts today is “Wasted thoughts and wasted wine.”  First of all, wasted wine should never ever EVER happen.  It’s a crime in all fifty states, I’m quite sure. If not, it should be. As for wasted thoughts, I can’t help those.  They happen.   Here’s just a few.  There are way too many to mention them all:

  • The longer my hair gets, the more often I have to vacuum.
  • I still have the Halloween bowl on my dining room table.  Right beside the cornucopia. Which is right beside the plastic Santa.  Boom!  I’m covered until 2013, bitches!
  • Did I get all my porn videos (and other paraphernalia) put away before the kids visited?  Gosh I hope so.
  • I wish my Dad could mail me his famous chicken ‘n dumplings.  
  • All I want for Christmas is to be blessed, happy, loved, healthy, successful, gorgeous, brilliant, talented, and rich. That’s all.
  • Do women have ‘junk’, or is that term just reserved for men?
  • Do men have a ‘rack’ or is that term just reserved for women?  Curious minds want to know these things.
  • Does Santa have a rack or just junk?  And does he fulfill ‘adult’ requests?  I don’t mean physically.  That would just be wrong.


My final Thursday thoughts are “Important things happening in December”.  I graduate with my Master of Arts degree in December. Rock on, me! Go Terri. Go Terri…

However, the most important thing happening in December is quite serious, and I hope that you will all join me with your prayers, thoughts and good wishes. My best friend Mary will be undergoing a multiple-heart-bypass operation very soon.  She has been through a lot, but still remains the hopeful, delightful, special woman she has always been, and she has my heart.  If only I could make my heart work for both of us….



This ‘Thinking Thursday’ post is dedicated to my dearest friend Mary. Keep smiling, my beautiful friend.  Your smile makes the world a better place.  I love you.






**Some images from Google Images


Best friend

Do you have a best friend? A friend that stays in your heart no matter how far away they are.  A friend you can count on to understand you, support you, listen to you, and most of all…love you unconditionally.

If you are lucky enough to have such a friend, you know there’s no one quite like her/him. Yours is a friendship that transcends time and physical location. It is a strong union, one that has probably been down a few rough roads, but never wavered, and in fact, grew stronger as the clock kept on ticking.

I am so humbled and fortunate to have such a friend, and today as I write this, I do so with a heavy heart.  My friend.  My best best friend…is in the hospital.  Again.

My friend has heart trouble, which truly amazes me because she has one of the most beautiful hearts in the world.  It just doesn’t make sense. This woman is kind, giving, and always thinks of others before herself. This woman has a heart as big as Texas.  And yet, this big, beautiful heart is making my best friend sick.

Mary has been busy the past few months, as her husband Garry also has heart trouble.  He has, in fact, had open heart surgery, and survived a terrible infection after the surgery. It was a hard time for their family. Mary stayed at his bedside, and cared for him when he came home.  Garry’s recovery was a long and painful one. But he made it through.  Now it is his turn to be by Mary’s side during this most difficult time in her life. 

When I first heard of Mary’s heart trouble, I teased her that even though she and Garry were always meant to be together, that didn’t necessarily mean they both had to have the same heart troubles.  She laughed at my feeble attempt to cheer her up.

I love hearing Mary laugh.  She has a unique, warm laugh that draws you in and makes you feel welcome in her presence.  She has a way of making everyone around her feel special.  That’s just how she is.  I don’t know why she took a shine to me all those years ago, and became my friend, but I thank God every day for her.

I tried to think of a few happy times to share with you about our friendship, but there were so many, it was hard to choose.

We raised our kids together for several years while in the Air Force.  We were stationed in Turkey, Texas and Colorado together.  My son Abe and her son Larry were best friends.  When they were 8 years old, Mary and I decided to be Cub Scout Leaders and both the boys were in our den.   I remember laughing so hard with the boys when trying to make crafts (badly…..because we weren’t very good at that sort of thing).  I remember taking my guitar to one of our meetings and making the boys sing “Row Your Boat” over and over again.  Why did I do that, you might be asking?  Well, because it was the only song I could play on the guitar.  But the boys didn’t seem to mind… and they sang, while Mary and I laughed our butts off.

Then there was the time our Cub Scout Den had to decorate pumpkins to compete with the other dens at the Halloween party.  Our pumpkin was really special.  He was totally awesome and tricked out, complete with a cigar sticking out of his mouth.  (Back then it was considered funny).  However, we did not realize that the Fire Marshall was judging the contest, so needless to say, we did not win.  We celebrated afterwards, anyways, with the boys and some pizza.  Ours was the coolest Cub Scout Den ever.

Such good times.

I have many many more delightful memories, but I’ll stop for now.  The tears are beginning to flow and I can’t see the computer very well.

My whole point to this post is to express my love for one of the sweetest people on earth. My best friend. Mary Barker.

Please keep my friend in your thoughts and prayers while she goes through this tough time in her life. She has had two stents put in, but is facing open-heart surgery in the near future.  Tonight she is in the hospital after having a mild heart attack.  This is only a day after being released from the hospital after having the second stent put in.

I have no words that can truly express the emotions going through my head and heart, but suffice to say they are overwhelming.

Mary, I know you will read this.  Please know that I am there in spirit, and my love and devotion are there always. And forever.  Mind the doctor and let your family fuss over you.  You are precious to a lot of people and we are all holding you in our hearts and praying for your swift recovery.


Monday Listicles - Ten Thanks


Happy Monday!  I’m linking up with the lovely Stasha over at The Good Life for Monday Listicles.  This week’s list is Ten Thanks.  I have lots of those so let's get started, shall we?   So here goes:


  • Thanks to the wonderful staff at St Rose Hospital, my partner is in excellent hands, improving, and should be coming home within a couple days. For those of you who I don’t connect with on Face book, my partner had a bad fall in the bathroom Thursday, slipped and cracked two ribs which punctured a lung. She is in the hospital, having the excessive blood drained from her chest.  The procedure is going well and she’ll soon be home enjoying my fine nursing (???) skills…well, maybe not so fine, but I can warm up as many cans of chicken soup as she wants. And fluff her pillows. No seriously, I mean that.
  • Thanks to Mother Nature for finally giving Las Vegas a break from the 114 degree temps, and also giving us some much needed rain.  It’s humid here, but actually nice for a change.
  • Thanks to Jennifer Lopez for being Jennifer Lopez.  ‘Nuff said.
  • Thanks to “Big Brother” and “Big Brother After Dark”. I finally have something to watch this summer.
  • Thanks to all you amazing people who bought my book, Sara’s Sleep.  Please pass the word for me and if you haven’t provided a Review on Amazon, I would very much appreciate the feedback.  Click HERE for the link. 
  • Thanks to Apple for my new job. I am beyond thrilled. I’m sure the power company, the gas company, the phone company, the cable company, and my insurance broker are also experiencing bouts of squealing delight, as well.
  • Thanks to red wine. And white wine. And champagne. And margaritas. And pie. Almost any kind of pie.
  • Thanks to air-conditioning. I cannot stress this one enough.
  • Thanks to my friends and family who have called me lately…exactly when I needed it the most. You know who you are. I love you and cherish you all. You keep me sane. I’m not kidding.
  • Thanks to my partner Joan. I’m so glad you’re going to be okay. You are tough but now you know that you can break. So please be more careful, okay?