Subscribe

 

 

Search

 

 

 

   Download Dark Pretense, my 

   latest novel, from Amazon.

      

      Download Sara's Sleep from Amazon

      Perfect for gifts!

 ************************************

 

   Check out my Amazon

  Author page:    Click HERE

 

************************************

 


 

 

 

 

 

Entries in friends (6)

Wednesday
Apr102013

I got nuthin'

I awoke this lovely Wednesday morning, bound and determined to write a blog post. I certainly should write one. It’s long overdue. There is only one little bitty issue.

I got nuthin’.

I’m feeling the stress and the pressure of not producing a bit of wit and whimsy. I had trouble sleeping last night because of it.  I must get something posted.  Both of my readers must be feeling the void.  I cannot, and will not, disappoint.

Oh, I have started a new post several times, even posted a couple, and then swiftly took them back by deleting the whole shebang while muffling a naughty word or two.  I’ve erased more words and phrases than I’ve actually written.  That’s quite a feat, in and of itself, when you think about it.  It’s not like I can chew on my virtual eraser while pondering my next clever punch line.

Pitiful really.

So I gave up.

I am, instead, going to send you over to some of my favorite blogs where you can get your blog fix in a variety of styles. 

  • If it’s humor you seek, then head on over to my friend Karla’s blog, Telega Tales and Tart Cookies.  You’ll come away with a tummy ache from laughing.  She’s a comedy queen you don’t want to miss.
  • If you’re a grandparent, make your virtual way over to Lisa’s blog, Grandmas Briefs. Her helpful and amusing anecdotes will warm your heart.
  • If you are missing a bit of sunshine in your life, my dear friend Vidya, from Going A Musing, will enchant you with her amazing outlook on life, beautiful photographs, and poignant reflection.  It is impossible to leave her blog without feeling uplifted and inspired.
  • If you enjoy a light-hearted blog with a variety of subjects about everyday life and family, peppered with a delightful touch of humor, check out Ally's blog over at Just a Normal Mom.

***************

So hurry on over and visit these lovely ladies while I continue on my quest for a new blog topic. 

I hope to be displaying the cover for my new book within a few days, so please do check back.

In the meantime, I’m sending my warmest wishes for you all to have a blessed day.

 

 

Sunday
Dec232012

Best.Christmas.Ever

The day after tomorrow will be my 59th Christmas. I can hardly believe it. Seems like just yesterday, I was sneaking into my parents’ closet, trying to find Santa’s stash. My little sister, hot on my heels, still believed in Santa, so I had to make up a lot of excuses why there were toys in that closet. Back then, she followed me everywhere. She was the cutest little thing. Everyone loved her, as they do now.  She’s still the cutest little thing, topping off at a sassy 4 feet 11 inches tall…and gorgeous.  Only now she’s not my little shadow.  I miss her so very much! She and I had a lot of Best Christmases Ever together.

Trying to think back and name the Best Christmas Ever was a huge challenge because I have had many that could easily rank in that category. I have been so blessed in this life of mine.

This year, for example, would have to be among those ‘best’ Christmases.  And why, you ask, especially since Christmas hasn’t happened yet?  Well, a few weeks ago, I proclaimed to the world that the only thing I really wanted for Christmas was for my best friend Mary to make it through her multiple heart bypass operation and get well.  And she, indeed, did make it through, thank God…and is on that all-important road to recovery.  No matter what else I get, my Christmas is complete.  Absolutely a Best Christmas Ever!

Thinking back to my childhood once again, our Christmases were full of family and food.  Another cherished memory was our stockings.  My sister and I hung knee socks up for Santa to fill.  We didn’t have the fancy red stockings with our names on them.  Santa filled our stockings with nuts, candy, oranges and apples, and we loved every bite.  We didn’t expect some expensive presents in our stockings. We only knew that our stockings were full and Santa had not forgotten to come to our house.  I get a bit misty eyed when I think of those days.  Makes me want to hug my Dad.  So even though I can’t name any single Christmas of my childhood, I can name our ‘knee socks’ stockings as a major factor of many Best Christmases Ever.

Another Best Christmas Ever was when my oldest son was just a toddler. We were in the Air Force and stationed in North Carolina. My Dad and Mom made the trip from Atlanta to spend Christmas with us. It was one of the last times my Mom really spent any time with my son, before alcoholism and then dementia stole her away from us.  She wasn’t fully sober during that time, either, but at least she had her good days.  That Christmas, she had several good days, and we had a beautiful holiday together, watching Abe tear through the many wonderful toys brought from Santa, Grandpa and Grandma.  I cry now but I wouldn’t take anything for those memories.

My next memory was actually a Christmas Eve when my youngest son, Glenn was three years old. He wanted a play kitchen for Christmas.  (Little did I know he’d grow up to be such a good Vegan cook!).  My husband had a bad case of the flu and could not get out of bed.  Christmas Eve arrived and I put Glenn to bed, and then tried to tackle a big box full of boards and pieces and parts that needed to transform into a little kitchenette. I was not in my comfort zone, to put it mildly.  So, I called up my best friend Mary and told her I didn’t know what I was going to do.  I was, and always have been, carpentry challenged, and everyone knew this.  Mary saved the day, however, by coming over and helping me put that kitchenette together.  I opened some wine, we gathered tools from the garage, and after a lot of drinking, laughing, and smashed fingers, we did it.  Then we placed the kitchenette at the bottom of the stairs so it would be the first thing Glenn would see when he woke up.  The next morning, he literally sat down and slid down the stairs with glee.  It was one of the Best Christmases Ever!

As I’ve grown older and the kids have grown up, Christmases are quieter and sometimes lonely.  I try to stave off feeling sorry for myself, however, because I have healthy, happy kids and grandkids, a job, a partner, a nice place to live, and people who love me. That’s what matters. I count those blessings every day, not just Christmas.  So as my 59th Christmas is upon me, I know that I will enjoy some good wine and some even better memories of all the Best Christmases Ever.  

I wish each and every one of you a BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!  Please feel free to share a Best Christmas Ever moment with us!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thursday
Dec062012

Can't stop the feelings

The following post should probably be presented (in person) to a licensed psychiatrist or therapist, but I don’t have the money.  So you all get to be my shrinks.  No worries.  You don’t have to do anything.  Just read.  I just need to get some things out of my head before it explodes.  My apologies in advance.  There’s an open bar if you can find the cocktail waitress.

***************

It is 2:20 pm and I’ve been sitting in the living room most of the day.  In fact, I just woke up from a forty-winker that was spent sitting straight up in my lounge chair.  I must possess some special talent to be able to get my Z’s in a fully upright position.  It couldn’t possibly be my getting old(er). Yea, it’s got to be talent.  We’ll go with that.

But let’s get back to the reason for this post.

Sitting in the living room all day without doing anything is not normal.  Not my normal anyway. I got up this morning with more back pain than usual, after having a restless night. I didn’t start the day out right.  I tried writing a witty blog after breakfast, and ended up moving it right over to the Recycle Bin, in a huff.  Because. It. Was. Not. Funny. At. All.

At 9 am my time, I listened to a radio show that was streamed live on the internet from Kansas City.  That was one of the only worthwhile parts of my day so far.  My friend Erin Margolin and her Dad were guests on a local Kansas City radio station, talking about The Gay Dad Project.  It was a well-spent hour.  If you’d like to know more about it, please visit their website at gaydadproject.org.  Listening to Erin’s heartfelt words to her Dad about his coming out when she was 15 brought me back to 24 years ago, when I came out to my son, and then left my husband.  My other son was too young to understand at the time.  I wonder just how much I hurt them by coming out.  I know it was something I had to do, but what a price to pay for freedom! 

So that’s on my mind.

After awhile, I stared at the TV while a deluge of dark and/or weird thoughts flooded my brain.  Questions about my life….all unanswered or with unacceptable answers.

  • What will I do now that I’m finished with school?
  • When is the second Hunger Games movie coming out?
  • Will I actually ever publish my second book? 
  • Are the kids doing okay?  I mean really okay?
  • How am I going to get through Christmas?  
  • Why can’t I make a decent pot of chicken ‘n dumplings? 
  • Am I depressed or just hyped up on sugar again?

I sat there and thought about things.  Like a zombie. Only zombies don’t think, do they?

You see what I mean?  Useless. Pity Party Central. All Aboard!

My best friend undergoes an open-heart, multi-bypass operation tomorrow, and my mind keeps going back to her every few minutes. I just want it to all turn out okay.  My head hurts, my heart is breaking, and my stomach is in knots.  I wish I could be there with her.  Thank God her family is all around her, though.  She’s very, very loved.  She’s that kind of person. 

But that’s not all that has me feeling today.  I wish I could just turn my feelings off.  It seems, when I let myself slow down long enough to feel, all the feelings of every kind, even remotely associated with my life…rush in.  All at once.

So I don’t know how I’m feeling.  I just am.    

 

Thursday
Feb162012

Taking a Social Networking Break

Hi everyone. After much thought, I have decided to take a break from my blog and The Twitter, until March. I haven't quite decided on a return date yet, but it will probably be very early in March, as I will miss the blogosphere and you all A LOT.

That being said, my reasons for this much needed break are many and varied and I won't bore you with the details. I'm sure you've all been there. I have pressing commitments and my stress level has elevated. It's time to let go of something, for a bit anyway.

Those of you who email and talk with me on the phone, Please continue to do so! I am here. Just not on here. So to speak.

My apologies for not reading and commenting on your blogs and tweeting, but again, I think you all probably understand. I will catch up in March, I promise!

Love you all. Don't forget me. And? Don't forget to sit back, relax, and enjoy whatever it is that makes you happy.

Till March........

Kisses and Hugs!

Addendum:
Just to clear up a few concerns. I am fine. Just need a break. Sara's Sleep will also be continued in March. :-)

Thursday
Feb022012

I Feel Goooooood

I feel good today!  I.Feel.Good.  na na na na na na na


Remember this guy?    Most of you, probably not.  He felt good, according to him.  I don’t know why he felt good.  But good for him.

Now back to me.

So, why do I feel good today?   I haven’t a clue.  I just got up and felt so freaking good, I was smiling.  Anyone who knows me, knows I don’t smile much in the mornings.  This morning.  Big. Smile.

  • I wasn’t pissed off about my arthritis aches and pains.  Were they still there?  Yes, indeed they were.
  • I wasn’t pissed off thinking about going to fucking work.  Will I still have to go?  Yes, indeed I will.
  • I wasn’t pissed off because it’s a bit cold and windy outside.  I still went to the store and for my walk.  Yes, indeed I did.
  • I wasn’t even pissed off about “know it all chick” at work that gets on my last nerve and I want to strangle her nasty little neck.  No, not today.  She gets a pass today.  I MIGHT even smile at the bitch. While I have my hands around her neck.

No. People. I am just happy today.  Nothing could make me happier, in fact. 

Well, maybe if I won the lottery.

Or had a mind-blowing orgasm.  (no she did not just say that!)

Or saw some of the people I love…in person.

Other than those things, I couldn’t be happier.

Have you ever felt like that?   You just ooze with pleasure and delightfulness and goodness?   Sounds a little “Pollyanna” huh?   You’re right.  I’m about to gag myself with all this bullshit.

But it’s true.  Yours truly is a happy girlie today.   And?  I’m NOT drinking.   I may have just sucked in some happy air or had a brain vessel snap or something, though.  This is not normal for me.   Oh I’ve been happy before.  I can’t quite remember that day, but I’m sure I was.  However, there was always a reason.  I may have won a jackpot at the casino or heard from one of my boys, or received a compliment I didn’t expect.

OH wait!  I did receive an amazing compliment from my writerly friend, Karla Telega, today.  In fact, my name is up in lights so to speak over at her place.   Check me out and check her out.  She definitely makes me smile.  And laugh.  She’s effing funny.

So.

How good do I feel?

  • I feel “just paid the last and final car payment” good.  
  • I feel “just saw JLo in the altogether” good. 
  • I feel “just saw any beautiful woman in the altogether” good.
  • I feel “just finished my homework” good.
  • I feel “just got off the plane in Maui” good.

OK maybe not that good.

I feel good enough to face the world today, even if the world’s not ready for me. 

And?

I just wanted to tell all my bloggy friends about it, so maybe I can help you feel a little better today.

If you can’t laugh with me, then laugh at me.  Just so ya laugh.  Enjoy life.  And know this crazy old broad who feels good…..loves you!

Now where did I leave that fucking bong?

Just kidding!

Wednesday
Feb012012

Some of my best friends are men

I’ve been thinking a lot about a dear old friend of mine who is currently in the hospital.  His name is Garry, his wife is my BFF (and I only give that distinction to her, no one else.  Best friends don’t come easily for me), and he just had quadruple-bypass surgery yesterday morning.   He came through it well and is doing ok, the last update I had.  Garry and I go way back.  I first met him and Mary in Turkey in 1977 (if memory serves, and it often does not!).  We were all stationed at Karamursel AFB in Turkey.  Garry, my fiancé Glenn, and I all worked in the Computer Operations office.  Mary was, at the time, a stay-at-home-Mom, and she watched my son (then 4 years old) along with her two kids (4 and 6) while we worked.   Life was good that year.  We all became extremely close friends.  The weird thing for me was that I became friends with both Mary and Garry, separately and together, if that makes sense.

Garry and Mary in Vegas last year, celebrating Garry's birthday.

Garry has the most hilarious, dry sense of humor.  He had me in stitches so many times.  He found out early on how much I get grossed-out over anything to do with snot, buggers or the nose.  Ewwwww.  So of course, he enjoyed taunting me with snot jokes, especially at work.  The other guys at work, to include my fiancé, chimed in, and I was severely grossed-out on a daily basis.  It seemed to be a special source of entertainment for these guys.  I didn’t mind so much, as they could all attest, I can give as good as I get.  And I did.  We had a blast at work.  And during off-hours, Mary, Garry, my fiancé Glenn and our kids spent most of our time together, playing cards, drinking wine, going to ball games, BBQing.  I will never forget that time in my life.

So, Garry, just get well soon and take care of yourself, will ya?  I want us to have many more times together, my friend.   And the snot jokes?  Keep ‘em coming.  I won’t complain.  But I will get revenge.  You know that I will.   I love you so very much, my beautiful friend!

I don’t know why exactly, but over the course of my life, I have made close friends with men, instead of women, most of the time.  Only the last few years have I been comfortable being friends with women.  I can’t say it’s because I am a lesbian, because in truth, I am bi-sexual (with a preference for women), and I firmly believe sexual preference has nothing to do with friendships.   Many people would beg to differ, however.   I can make a friend, male or female, and it has nothing to do with my sexual preference.  So, I don’t know why it’s easier for me to be friends with men.  I’ve always worked primarily in men-dominated jobs until just recently, so that may factor into things.  I guess I’ll never really understand it.

I’m not discounting any of my amazing women friends.  I don’t know why they put up with me, but they do.  And I love them all for it.  You know who you are.   There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. 

My men friends…..Garry, Dave, Dean, Maverick, Matt, Dick, Mike, and anyone I forgot to mention…..you guys rock my world.  I hope you know that.  I look up to you.  I revere you and your accomplishments, your compassion, your wit and wisdom.  Your significant others are damned lucky to have you and I’m sure they know that.    I love talking computers, writing, books, sports, etc……just not snot……with you all.  Thanks for seeing me for who I am, and not just some old broad.  As a person who is often discounted these days because I’m older and I need a cane because of my bad back, your devotion helps keep me sane.

Me and Dave

 

Me and Dean

 

Kenna and Dick


Mike and Santa


OK, I’m done now.  I hope some of you are still awake.   My mind has been on my friend Garry and I just had to write something.   Writers are like that.  Sometimes, the emotions just take over the fingers and we write our hearts.    

I heart you Garry.  Get well soon!


Garry's Birthday celebration last year in Vegas.