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« Mother's Day Rerun Post: Oh Momma! | Main | Age discrimination is alive and well »
Sunday
Apr272014

Technologically speaking. Ahem.

Times have been lean for the past few years in my household. I haven’t made any significant purchases in so long; my shopping gene has withered up and turned to dust, much like other parts of my body, which shall remain nameless.

We don’t have flat screen TV.  The screen is flat, yes, but the rest of the TV is heavier than my couch.  When the guy delivered it over 8.5 years ago, he had to climb 18 stairs and then place the TV up onto a little cubby-hole in the wall. He was not a happy delivery man. The look he gave me upon making his exit remained etched in my memory.  I would have felt sorry for him if not for his steely glance and the dirty boot prints he left on my carpet.  Instead, I wished for him an even heavier burden upon his next task.  Ha! That Sony TV is still working fine and it shall remain our main source of entertainment until it dies.  Then, and only then, will I shop for a real flat-screen television.

My current computer is a Samsung laptop sold to me at a deep discount by my younger son after my desktop HP computer suffered an untimely demise. The clunky old thing just up and quit on me, due to some unfortunate viral mania, most likely brought on by surfing in unknown web-ly waters.  At least I think that’s why it died. I tried everything I thought I knew to troubleshoot said device, but it all but ignored my efforts.  It did manage a few creeky-sputtery sounds just before the end, though, as if trying to forge a little sympathy. It may have succeeded in drawing a tear or two from me but for the loss of several important documents and pictures. 

Three and a half years later, my laptop (affectionately named Mr. Samsung) is beginning to show signs of age.  Norton Utilities, my chosen security and virus protection, comes up with detections of infected areas daily.  I think Mr. Samsung is getting sick.  He even gives off an odor akin to an antiseptic hospital ward.  Okay maybe that’s my imagination.  However, I’m quite certain he is about to go belly-up and will join a long list of electronics that have gone to that cloudy graveyard in the sky.

And what is up with the Cloud?  Having been a computer geek since they were invented, I understand that when something is sent to the Cloud, it is sent to a server somewhere, and can be retrieved with only a few key strokes and/or clicks.  Explaining that to my partner, however, is a whole other matter. I have found myself pointing up to the sky and repeatedly saying “Cloud”.  Of course, that doesn’t actually help, but rather invokes quizzical looks and questions such as, “How does it get up there?” and “Does it climb power lines or what?” thus forcing me to table said discussion until I’ve had at least one more glass of wine.

The one electronic device I have not denied myself, however, is the smart phone. For some reason, I must always have the latest and the best. That being said, I could count on one hand how many calls I actually receive in a week. So why must I have a smart phone? The answer is quite simple, really.  Once I tried my first free smart phone from Verizon, I was hooked.  I was forever locked into being able to get my email, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, banking, and Words with Friends all on my phone. And don’t even get me started on Selfies.  There was no turning back.  I was connected and it felt good.

I actually tried to revert back to a plain flip-phone a couple years ago to save money, but that lasted all of two weeks.  By that time, I was already hooked on texting, and flip-phones were not text-friendly.  Oh maybe those tweenagers can text ninety miles per hour on those little phones, but they use a short-cut vocabulary only understood amongst themselves.  As a writer, I draw the line at such nonsense!  I can make exception for LOL and LMAO, etc., but my brain is not programmed to abbreviate every word down to two letters…or god-forbid, substituting numbers for letters!  That’s just not part of my DNA.  I have to have my smart phone so I can text whole wonderful words.  It’s a part of me…an extension, if you will.  Also, how would I survive if I couldn’t check the score of a Denver Broncos game while sitting in a movie theater?  Granted, I get a few nasty stares and stray remarks, but small price to pay for instant gratification knowledge, don’t you think?

In my little world, I have yet to experience all the latest and greatest technological advancements, such as HD, Blu-Ray, Xbox, PS whatever number they are on now, or the Wii, if that’s still a thing.  And now that my grandkids have grown up to that gaming age, I shudder to think of how bored they would be at my house without all those diversions. 

I would, however, welcome the chance to find out.  I may not be able to find my way through the World of Warcraft or even get to the second level of Super Mario Brothers, but I can bake a pretty yummy cake shaped like R2D2 while listening to some Rolling Stones and kicking some Words with Friends ass on my smart phone. 

Just sayin…

 Okay I did not bake this.I don't have time. I'm playing on my phone.

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References (2)

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    Response: summertime music
    terrisonoda - Terri's Little Corner - Technologically speaking. Ahem.
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    Response: unimi.it
    terrisonoda - Terri's Little Corner - Technologically speaking. Ahem.

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