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« OMG Two more weeks! | Main | One day it just hits you »
Wednesday
Aug142013

Seriously. No really...

Does everything annoy you these days? 

Does the neighbor’s little yippy-dog grate on your last nerve every time you hear him announce his latest bowel movement with a shrill, fingernails-on-a-blackboard whine?

Does the producer of those generic crackers make you want to write an anonymous hate letter because at least half of the crackers are in tiny bits upon opening?

Do you want to personally disassemble and torture your bathroom scale because of its obvious lack of sensitivity to you and your weight issues?

Do you want to stomp on the gas pedal and shove your car right up the ass of the driver in front of you who just cut you off?

Does ‘writer’s block’ hit you just before you are reaching the climax of your story and then render you helpless and unsatisfied?

Do you always seem to get in the slowest line at the supermarket?

Do you always seem to pick oranges with thick skins that, when peeled, leave your fingernails in mangled disarray?

Does your mouth get you into trouble?  Even when you only open it long enough to change feet?

Does your Mother-in-Law look better than you’ve ever seen her in your dreams with that noose around her neck?

Do you really miss that half glass of wine you inadvertently spilled?  So much so that you contemplate licking it off the table? Waste not, want not…

Does that perky little twenty-something bank teller call you sweetie? How about that more refined thirty-something calling you dear?  And then there’s that forty-something bitch who has some nerve calling you honey?  Do you stay awake at night plotting your revenge or just flip them off and open some more wine?

Do your kids think you know nothing about anything?  Just because you asked why the hell they just have to have Blu-Ray, Netflix, Siri, Instagram, Twitter, and Candy Crush Saga on every device they own?  Oh wait, that's me.

****

Does this stuff annoy you?

If not, just wait. 

No, really.


*Image from Google Images

 

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