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Sunday
Apr212013

Monday Listicles - Ways to spend 30 minutes (the clean version)

 

 

Hello Monday people! I'm linking up with the lovely Stasha over at The Good Life for Monday Listicles.

When I saw this week’s topic, my mind immediately turned toward the gutter and I had to perform a sharp U-turn to keep from utter and downright bloggedy shame.  Fortunately, after several 30 minute intervals of ponderous introspection and a stern scolding from that pesky angel on my other shoulder, I was able to come up with a really boring clean list of ways to spend 30 minutes.  So buckle your seat belts so you don’t fall off your chair when I put you to sleep.  I’m keeping it clean, but like President Carter once said, “I lusted in my heart.”  

Or was that one of the Bush’s? 

Never mind. Let’s move along, shall we?

**********************

Without further adieu, and with very little previous training in time management, I give you

  Ways to Spend 30 Minutes:

*****

Stupid way to spend 30 minutes:  Regretting past actions/choices.

Stupider way to spend 30 minutes:  Saying “why me?”

Stupidest way to spend 30 minutes:  Hating someone.

Sexy way to spend 30 minutes:  The tease.

Sexier way to spend 30 minutes:  The foreplay

Sexiest way to spend 30 minutes:  Using your imagination.

Kind way to spend 30 minutes:  Hand written letter to a dear friend.

Kinder way to spend 30 minutes:  Making someone’s life easier without expecting anything in return.

Awkward way to spend 30 minutes: Walking into an Overeaters Anonymous meeting, smelling like the In-N-Out burger you just ravished.  This could also be a dangerous way to spend 30 minutes.

More awkward way to spend 30 minutes:  Walking into a Sexual Addictions meeting, smelling like the In-N-Out burger you just ravished. This could also be a kinky way to spend 30 minutes.

Embarrassing way to spend 30 minutes:  Walking through the mall with toilet paper streaming out of your pants. Streaming TP is never going to catch on as a fashion accessory, but there is an upside. You wouldn’t have to worry about being stranded with an empty roll.

Smart way to spend 30 minutes:  Meditation. Rest the mind.

Annoying way to spend 30 minutes:  Waiting in the queue line at Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market. However, the entertainment value gleaned from people-watching may be worth the wait. You can play “Count the butt cracks” in your head and no one will have any idea why there’s a wicked grin on your face.

How to completely waste 30 minutes:  Letting yourself down. Spreading gossip. Being judgmental.

Nice way to spend 30 minutes:  Take a nap! 

Nicer way to spend 30 minutes:  A spooning nap for two!

Nicest way to spend 30 minutes.  One nap. Two consenting adults. Hold the nap.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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