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« No Shop Wednesday. It could be a thing | Main | Autumn brings out my crazy »
Wednesday
Oct302013

NaNoWriMo is not for the squeamish

 NaNoWriMo 2013 begins in just two days. I signed up, but quite frankly, I’m mortified.  NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, and it challenges the multitudes, including the strong, the stubborn, the delusional, the experienced and even death-wish junkies.

In other words, if you think you can write 50,000 words within 30 days and live to tell the tale, you’d better be wearing your big girl knickers or you will die a slow, excruciating and embarrassing death.

I kid you not.

Why do I put myself through such torture, you ask?

Well, think of it as you would a rock climber:

“Mister, why are you climbing that enormous rock?”

   “Because it’s there.”

“What the fuck kinda answer is that? That rock is 50,000 feet high and it’s gonna take you 30 days to get up to the fucking top.”

   “I am a rock climber. I will climb. I will fight through the pain. I will be victorious! Any more   questions?”

“Uh, yes, just one more.”

   “Okay, shoot”

“Are you fucking crazy or did your Momma drop you on your head when you were little and you just don’t know any better?”

   “Yes.”

***********************

Okay, so just go through the above scenario again, only this time, replace rock climber with writer. It might go something like this:

“Terri why are you participating in NaNoWriMo?”

   “Because it’s there.”

“What the fuck kinda answer is that?  Terri, NaNoWriMo requires you write a 50,000 word novel in just 30 days.  Who does that?”

   “I am a writer. I will write. I will fight through the pain, the writer’s block and the nay-sayers. I will be victorious!  Any more questions?”

“Uh yes, just one more.”

   “Okay, shoot.”

“Are you fucking crazy or did your Momma drop you on your head when you were little and you just don’t know any better?”

   “Yes.”

***************

So, if you see strange postings on my blog, face book, or twitter, please don’t be frightened.

It’s just me plowing through an average of 1667 words per day.  And if I get behind, you may witness my self-destruction right before your eyes.  Just ignore my whimpering and shameless cries for help.  It’s just part of the experience.

And so the journey begins.  I hope you wish me well.  And if any of you are participating in NaNoWriMo, please be my buddy.  I promise I won’t call you at two in the morning asking if you know a good metaphor for cronuts.

And furthermore, in order to cement your faith in me, I’ve made my official declaration and provide it below. 

Let it be known by all who read this page, as well as those who were sent here by doing a Google search on old bitches with butch tendencies.  I hereby, herewith, henceforth and forthwith (and a bunch of other legal terms) do declare that I will write 50,000 words in 30 days. I will not quit.  If I get behind, I will not cause any bodily harm to innocent passers-by.  If I get chronic writer’s block, I bequeath all my worldly goods to Hillary Clinton so she can sell them to help finance her upcoming campaign for President.”



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