Happy Monday! I’m linking up with the lovely Stasha over at The Good Life for Monday Listicles. This week’s list is Ten Summer Memories. Ever since I had to start coloring my hair and grew underarm flaps, I haven’t been a huge fan of summer. I no longer go swimsuit shopping. I’ve worn the same one-piece for at least a dozen years now. That should tell you something. I do have summer memories and many of them have to do with swimming or trying to swim. Or being near the water. Or puking in the water. Well I don’t want to give it all away up here. Check out my summer shenanigans down below:
Summer of 1965. September 6th to be exact, my birthday. My mom was throwing me a party that night. While she prepared everything, she allowed our neighbor to take me and my little sister to the lake for a picnic and swimming. I was eleven and my sister was seven and the neighbor was freaking stupid. She sat on her ass on the little sandy beach and applied sun tan oil and drank beer while my little sis played in the sand. Of course, I had to take full advantage of this situation, so I promptly made a beeline for the water and soon had a couple of friends. These new friends could swim much better than I could swim. They went way out over their heads, and consequently yours truly followed them.
Are you thinking this can’t end well?
You would be correct.
I came within a second or two of drowning. I can remember going under and all I could think about was that I was going to miss my birthday party. I was almost dead when one of my new friends pulled me to safety. I stumbled out of the water, choking and puking. I walked up to our neighbor and she said, “What happened to you?” I just sat down and waited until we went home. She didn’t seem too concerned. Maybe she was used to hanging around kids that were blue and spitting up sand.
Unfortunately, we didn’t go home as quickly as we should have. Both my sister and I ended up with extreme sunburns that made us both sick. I remember telling my mom who was horrified, “I hope that lady doesn’t ever have kids because I don’t think they will live long.”
Yea, summer memories.
I promise the other nine will be shorter. I just had to share that one.
Summer of 1967. I strutted my stuff at the lake in my very first bikini. I was thirteen going on thirty and my Dad caught this much older guy hitting on me. I don’t know what happened to that guy. Dad never said, but I can assure you it wasn’t pretty. Have you seen my Dad? He’s a badass.
Summer of 1971. I was seventeen and just two months away from going in the Air Force. Again, at the lake, and in a very small bikini, I had the boys’ heads-a-spinning. Man that felt good.
Summer of 1973: Son number one (Abe) was born. I was (and still am) smitten.
Summer of 1979: Very first trip to Hawaii. It was my honeymoon. I fell in love. Not with my husband, although I did like him a lot, but with Kauai, Oahu’s north shore, and Hilo and Kona on the Big Island. It was a magical three weeks. I did lose my swimsuit in some really rough waves on the north shore. My husband thought it was hilarious, and people stared. I was so stubborn, I just walked my naked self over to my towel, which was a long stroll, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. I probably gave some old guys a few memorable moments of Hawaii.
Summer of 1982: Spent summer in last trimester of pregnancy with son number two (Glenn). He was born in late September. It was a fat, hot, miserable summer, but once the nurse put my son in my arms, all went right with the world.
Summer of 1999: Joan, Glenn, and I went on a road trip from Ohio to Washington DC to Atlanta and back to Ohio. In a small car. We did have fun, though. Except for the heat. And the stinky feet. And all those other unidentifiable odors.
Summer of 2001: Glenn graduated from high school in Hawaii. Valedictorian. Proud Momma.
Summer of 2004: Both sons graduated from college on the very same day. I lived in Ohio. Abe was in Boise and Glenn was in Hawaii. I had to choose one graduation, so I went to Boise for Abe’s ceremony. Amazing day. I was double proud! I have amazing kids.
Summer of 2007: Glenn graduated from law school. I made the trip from Vegas to Honolulu for the graduation. It was beautiful. They had Hawaiian music and hula girls during the ceremony. Even some of the professors danced. Again, I was one proud Momma.
Summers since 2007? I try not to go outside. Too freaking hot. Now I have back fat and a bubble butt to go with my underarm flaps. It would be a bit of a stretch for that old swimsuit.