Multi-tasking, studying, writing, editing, researching, staying awake, and breathing are all admirable qualities in today’s aspiring author. Unfortunately, each and every item takes some modicum of focus, of which I seem to be severely lacking. Oh, I have the ideas, the motivation, the desire, and the imagination to manage 3000 words per day and more, and yet, I wander from task to task, aimlessly and without producing anything much. I do, however, manage to eat my way through the alphabet, starting with shiny apples to tasty Zingers. What? I have to keep my strength up! Wandering and confusion burn calories.
So what to do about my newest self-destructive lack of focus? It is a quandary, that’s for sure. Today, in a feeble attempt to finish addressing a stack of postcards that needed to be mailed, I devised a plan. In order to keep my dimpled derriere seated long enough to complete desired task, I placed my breakfast, coffee, and water bottle on a small table on one side of my easy chair, accompanied by my phone, pens and postcards, TV remotes, address book, chocolate, pain killers, and Fabreeze on the other side. I was ready to complete said task without having to get up for anything.
Can you guess what was wrong with that picture?
Think about it. Old broad. Small bladder. Coffee. Water. More coffee.
I still haven’t finished those postcards. I went to the bathroom three times, and at some point during the third trip, I ended up folding clothes in my bedroom, arranging the toiletries on my bathroom shelf, plucking my eyebrows, looking for some matches for my scented candle (never found any), and dusting the little table where I display my new book, Sara’s Sleep (for the umpteenth time).
Once I returned to my postcard-addressing task, my breakfast and coffee were cold, my water was warm, and my resolve had waned considerably.
And then I had to pee again.
I need a new plan.
I think maybe I will try….oh shit, is that picture crooked? Let me just adjust that.
I’ll be right back…