Sunday
May292011
It Took Me 57 Years
Sunday, May 29, 2011 at 3:52PM
Artistic expressionism. Drive. Passion. I get it. I finally get it after 57 years and 9 months. And I’m one of the lucky ones. Many people go their whole lives without getting it. Many people go through their entire lives in robotic motion, sans emotion, taking up space…wasting precious time. I don’t want that to be me. That will not be me!
I saw a beautiful human being rendered a crying, hopeless, helpless mess on a reality show this week. The show was called, “So You Think You Can Dance”. The man was so engulfed in his dancing that he failed to connect with his audience and, unfortunately, came to this realization mid-performance. The poor soul ended up in a pitiful crying-heap, mid-stage, with not one understanding or compassionate comment offered to soothe his pain. He simply gave too much of himself and we, the viewing audience, were ill-equipped to accept this raw and disturbing emotion, and consequently did not know how to respond. What a shame!
This set me to wondering how often this behavior triggers negative/confused/hurtful response from people in everyday life…to those just trying to share their passion, to express their feelings in the one way they’ve discovered does it for them, whether it be dancing, writing, acting, art, poetry, sculpting, singing, mothering, loving or speaking...by those who want to open their minds but haven’t quite grasped the means by which to do so. How do we all come together? How do we all understand one another? I just wish I had the answer. I can only ask the questions, and hope I open some minds and lubricate the thought-processing mechanisms that are our brains.
Fifty Seven years is a long time to walk this earth and not have a passion, not have a voice, but somehow I managed it. Fifty Seven will forever be my very favorite age because at 57, I discovered writing. I discovered my voice. For those of you who do not have a passion, you will not comprehend my journey, and I would strongly and desperately advise you to find that passion. For those of you who know how it feels to write something that moves you to tears…those of you who know how a poem represents your sadness, in a way nothing else can….those of you who know how drawing a picture of the clouds viewed from your bedroom window completes you and helps you sleep at night…don’t waste your discovery, your passion! Use it to fulfill you. Use it to make your life sweeter. You’ll never use it up, as long as you keep using it. It dries up when you quit. Funny how that works.
Tonight I write from my heart, and to my friends with love. Don’t worry about me because I’ve found my voice, my passion, and my life is so much sweeter because of it. If you haven’t found that passion, look for it. Find it and embrace it. You won’t believe how much fuller your life will be when you find your voice.
I saw a beautiful human being rendered a crying, hopeless, helpless mess on a reality show this week. The show was called, “So You Think You Can Dance”. The man was so engulfed in his dancing that he failed to connect with his audience and, unfortunately, came to this realization mid-performance. The poor soul ended up in a pitiful crying-heap, mid-stage, with not one understanding or compassionate comment offered to soothe his pain. He simply gave too much of himself and we, the viewing audience, were ill-equipped to accept this raw and disturbing emotion, and consequently did not know how to respond. What a shame!
This set me to wondering how often this behavior triggers negative/confused/hurtful response from people in everyday life…to those just trying to share their passion, to express their feelings in the one way they’ve discovered does it for them, whether it be dancing, writing, acting, art, poetry, sculpting, singing, mothering, loving or speaking...by those who want to open their minds but haven’t quite grasped the means by which to do so. How do we all come together? How do we all understand one another? I just wish I had the answer. I can only ask the questions, and hope I open some minds and lubricate the thought-processing mechanisms that are our brains.
Fifty Seven years is a long time to walk this earth and not have a passion, not have a voice, but somehow I managed it. Fifty Seven will forever be my very favorite age because at 57, I discovered writing. I discovered my voice. For those of you who do not have a passion, you will not comprehend my journey, and I would strongly and desperately advise you to find that passion. For those of you who know how it feels to write something that moves you to tears…those of you who know how a poem represents your sadness, in a way nothing else can….those of you who know how drawing a picture of the clouds viewed from your bedroom window completes you and helps you sleep at night…don’t waste your discovery, your passion! Use it to fulfill you. Use it to make your life sweeter. You’ll never use it up, as long as you keep using it. It dries up when you quit. Funny how that works.
Tonight I write from my heart, and to my friends with love. Don’t worry about me because I’ve found my voice, my passion, and my life is so much sweeter because of it. If you haven’t found that passion, look for it. Find it and embrace it. You won’t believe how much fuller your life will be when you find your voice.
Much love from a happy 57 year old writer/mother/grandmother/sketcher/humorist/lover/friend/daughter/human.
Please feel free to leave your thoughts on my thoughts.
(Image from Google Images)
Reader Comments (219)
Everyone you come in contact with benefits from you sharing your passions . When we reconnected last year, I knew there was something totally different about you. Getting to know the 57 year old Terri has made my world a better place. Thank you for making this 57 year old a happier person who is discovering her own passions everyday. Love Ya Mary
I t hink this piece is wonderful. I know that 57 years sounds like a long time but it's better now than not ever finding that je ne sais quoi...if you know what I mean.
I found my passion in music years ago, but at that time, I wasn't prepared to do more than write a few songs to share with a few people. I'm so happy now that I can not only express myself, but have the courage to share it with a wider audience.
Few people who have read your stuff could deny your talent, and I feel so lucky to have met you when you're starting your journey.
Congratulations....how wonderful you found your talent and passion....and we who get to read your writing get the benefit! Lucky for us as well.
I love this. I mean, I really, really love this.
First of all, you are so lucky to have found your passion. I think, over the years our world has evolved in terms of self discovery. I know, my parents discouraged me from writing, telling me there was no money there and to find a job with security. They meant well. But I spent far too many years, toiling away at something that left me empty. I wish I could have those years back, but I think of it as my gestation time, when I was living and holding it all in until the day I realized that writing fueled my soul.
And yes, it is scary to put everything out there. I don't watch Dancing With The Stars, but your poetic description of a man giving everything he had to the dance to only receive a crushing blow from those viewing it, was so poignant.
It is one of the most frightening things to say, "Here are my words. This is me and all that I am." But it is also one of the most exhilarating. This was a beautiful post, my friend. Keep it up. I love what you have to say.
Can I re-post this post on my blog tonight?
I'll link back and only have a very short intro before reproducing it on my blog.
Please.........?
Of course! That makes me smile. :-) Thank you!
This is such a beautiful post, and I hope your readers who are still wandering about passionless take it to heart. I haven't published squat since I restarted my own writing journey (after hiding from it for 20 years because I was too busy working at jobs I didn't like and fearing rejection). But I have written my heart out and fallen in love with the act again. I live for it and love it, and if that is all that comes of this reawakening it is so much more than enough!
Terri,
This post kicks some serious ass, girlfriend.
I mean it. I'm thrilled you've found your voice & your passion, and who the hell cares if it took 57 years? I've found mine, but I haven't done anything with it and feel kinda lost lately, but still grateful I at least know what it is.
I know I've been so out of the loop, but I love coming here, especially when I find a new tag line every time.
MWAH!
xoxoxoxoxo
I am so happy for you Terri! I had a passion in my life, but gave it up when TJ got sick. Now that I have lost him I don't think I will ever go back to that particular passion. I am, however, on a personal journey to find a new passion in my life. I don't know yet where this journey will take me but I have no doubt it will be to wonderful place. I never thought I would be starting over in life at 45 but here I am. I am so happy that I have met you. Your writing is held in a very special place in my heart.
This is one of the best writings you have done in my opinion. To find and connect with one's Passion brings one to the heights of rapture and the depths of despair. Rapture because you connect with your self, the world, the universe...to Life itself. It envelops you like a warm blanket on a cold day. Despair because you emerge and find masses of people who have never had such an experience and because you have, and because you care, you want them to have such an experience. You want them to feel elevated, alive and free. But they resist...choosing mediocrity over excellence, choosing slavery to the wants and opinions of others instead of the freedom of being and showing their true selves.
It is safer to wear our masks and not expose ourselves as we are to others because when we do our art: dance, music, writing, being ourselves (yes living our daily lives as our true self is an art - maybe the highest art), we expose our inner core to judgement, criticism, persecution and rejection. But while rejection of our masks is less painful, acceptance of our masks is unsatisfying and empty. Thus the dilemma of existentialism.
Thank you, thank you for choosing to write and to BE your self. It is never too late or too early. The time is always right. :D
Hi Mary, my love. Reconnecting with you after all those years has inspired me in my writing and helped me climb out of a depression that was dangerously close to destructive. Your love means the world to me. The fact that we both "get it" regarding the need to express ourselves and open ourselves up through our writing and our art.....is all the sweeter. XOXOs
Oh yes Kimberly, I do know what you mean.....and thank goodness for that! Isn't it sweet????
Thank you Karla. And the admiration is mutual. MUSIC? Was it songwriting? Did you play an instrument? Or do you still? I am so in love with music and am a hungry listener. So do tell?
And thanks so much for the beautiful compliments!
Eva......Pot, meet Kettle. Your fiction is amazing and I feel so fortunate when you share it with me in our writing practice. I know you're overwhelmed right now with everything going on, and to take the time to leave me a comment makes my heart ache. Thank you.
Hi Joan..........Oh gosh you really do get it, don't you? (heart swelling!) I loved your words:
"I wish I could have those years back, but I think of it as my gestation time, when I was living and holding it all in until the day I realized that writing fueled my soul." Having those years back.....gestation period.....fueling of the soul. Beautifully expressed. Thank you!!
"....if that's all that comes of this reawakening..." No chance that's all that will come of it, because you also inspire your readers. That's why I started visiting your blog, for inspiration. I stayed for that, for the entertainment, and for the fact that you really do know what you're talking about. Awesome lady!
Hi Erin. You have been one of my favorite 'young writers' on the internet, and I have read those who follow you. You are a natural leader. You provide inspiration and you write from somewhere deep inside. Yea, I'd say you've done something for sure. Thank you for visiting me, friend. xoxo's
Thank you my sweet friend. You do have a passion for your animals, and it shines through in your writing and tweets. You'll find what you're looking for because you have heart and you are open for the discovery. (wow that was kinda deep, huh?) HUGS my friend.
Kim.......firstly, thank you so much for taking the time to read my stuff and now, this beautiful commenting. I had tears in my eyes as I read this, and then over again. You have insight and self-awareness to the depth I only wish I had. With friends like you, I just may get there some day, who knows. So happy to be getting to know you. Kim I would like to offer you a guest-posting on my blog, as I would love to read your thoughts and/or fiction/non-fiction/memoirs. Please consider my offer. I don't ask for guest-posters often and I have nothing to offer except my readers.......who are freaking awesome! So think about i, k? HUGS my friend. Missed you at the Coffee. Next time, I hope!
I am honored that you are offering my to be a guest blogger. I am new to the concept of blogging and not sure what that entails but am willing to try it out. Thank you. Reading the responses to your blogs, I know your readers are awesome. Looking forward to this because I have never written a blog before. Maybe this will inspire me to create my own. :D
Well, you just made my whole day! Beware! You will get hooked.
Thank you my friend! Will be in touch....
Dear, Terri,
~~this post was so moving...so beautiful...so raw.
I understood it. I felt the words seep inside my bones.
In "Interiors" one of the characters screams : "WHAT do people do without an art? Without a passion? How do they survive life?"
After that, I looooooooooooooved Woody Allen...thought he was a genious! I mean, I Got IT!
And so do you, my sweet-sweet Terri. So do you.
I am thrilled that you have finally found your "Voice!" What a relief :) xx
I love that you have found your voice, your passion, your joy.
I don't think it matters what age you are when this happens. Just that it does.
And that you recognize and appreciate it.
Cheers to you, Terri. And hugs. And words words words.
I just reproduced this post, with a link back here, on my blog :-)