Here’s the thing.
I haven’t blogged in months, so I’m not sure how this will go. Oh, I have thought about blogging, even fretted over it, but nary a word have I typed.
This is September, my favorite month. I come out of my summer-funk in September. I am like a bear leaving his cave after a long winter’s hibernation. Grumpy. Hungry. And generally not feeling sociable. So you might want to stay low and out of range, as throwing glass and sharp objects is not out of the question. Fair warning, people.
I should not look at Face Book first thing in the morning. I really should wait until after breakfast. That way I have my wits about me and am not as tempted to post snarky retorts to all those Republican Obama haters, Bible-thumpers, and nay-sayers. And while I’m on a rant, Kale sucks, too. I’m not a fan. I’ll take a big old helping of collard greens instead, thank you very much.
Oh yea, and what is up with all the selfies. Seriously? Is it totally necessary to post a selfie for every freaking minute of your life? No one is that attractive…well, except for Jennifer Lopez, who doesn’t need to take selfies. She has people for that. In my next life, I want to come back as JLo’s smart phone. I might have a short life, but it would so be worth the ride.
At this point, if you have not already abandoned this post, you might be asking yourself, “Is there anything this crazy bitch likes at all on Face Book?”
I like the kitten, puppy, and baby posts and videos. They take me to my happy place. Just viewing all that cuteness is almost as effective as medicinal pot, but much less expensive. Not that I have had any experience with the magic weed, you understand. Ahem. Let’s move on, shall we?
Going forward, we have a presidential election coming up in 2016, with all that implies. Face Book will be a-buzz many months before the election, with news, opinions, and factoids. And, by factoids, I really mean hatred-spewing from people who have no idea about government and how it actually works. They just want to hop on the bandwagon and post their ignorance. When it all begins, I will be unfriending and unfollowing the multitudes. I wish to convey my apologies ahead of time. You all know where I stand with politics. I don’t have to preach. Consequently, I don’t want to be the recipient of said preaching.
But I still love you all. Just wake me when it’s over. I promise if the other side wins, I will not be unhappy. I will not bash our new president. I will, instead, seek counseling.
At the local bar.
Margarita on the rocks, please, bartender!
Thank god for football.